The Lost Letters of Hephaistion
by Yumemakura
Summary: The series of letters written by Hephaistion to master Aristotle. Hephaistion's POV.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It is said that Hephaistion corresponded regularly with Aristotle and Xenocrates. Unfortunately, the letters of Hephaistion do not exist any more. This series was born from my curiosity of wondering what he must have written to Aristotle, the great philosopher.

Dear Master Aristotle,

Please forgive me for not writing to you for so long. As you have witnessed for yourself, it has been madness since king Philip was murdered. Especially the first seven days were chaos, and I do not believe that the weight of reality actually sunk into Alexander's mind during that period. Above all, what he had to do was to get recognized as the king's true successor. He did not have time to mourn his father then. How cruel it is that you cannot even mourn for your own father's death?

But I think during that maddening seven days, Alexander actually transformed himself from Alexander to the King. He had learned how to sacrifice his personal needs for the sake of duty. He did not hesitate even for a moment when he executed those two men. He simply told me that it was necessary. I understood that he had to do this to prove that he was not the one who killed the king, but I still could see the pain deeply hidden in his eyes.

When I recall that day, the first thing that I see in my mind is the clear blue sky. I remember that day; the sky was so blue without even a trace of clouds as if to rejoice for the wedding of princess Cleopatra. It is funny that what I associate with that horrible day is not the red of the blood, nor gold of the crown, but the blue of the Macedonian sky. My heart still aches whenever I see the bluest sky remembering the pain filled eyes of Alexander.

The pain I saw in his eyes was not only the pain of a son who lost his father, but also, or more so, the pain of facing the harsh reality that the son has to prove his innocence of his father's death; a part of his own flesh and blood. And even worse, he could not quite dismiss the doubt of possibilities that his own mother might have taken a role in his father's assassination. It is all a mystery, since Pausanias is now dead, and nobody could prove if there was somebody else behind it. But I believe it is for the best, some things should never be brought into the daylight.

The first thing the Macedonian court wanted after recognizing Alexander's reign was to attack the Persians. They came to believe that the Persians were somehow responsible for all of this. However, Alexander decided to go north and west first. He told the courts that it was necessary to have the unity of Greece before attacking the Persians; without this unity, we would never succeed in defeating the Persian Empire. Master Aristotle, Alexander does not dream just a dream. He is practical and realistic at the same time. He knows how to make a dream reachable and turn it into a reality.

The Illyrian and Triballian campaign was successful. It worked as a great advantage for Alexander that he was familiar with the terrain and their customs of the regions. He had learned them while we were in exile. One thing about Alexander that never ceases to surprise me is his ability to absorb, and somehow he is always able to turn tribulation to his advantage. His brain is like a dry sponge; it sucks all in. And even more amazingly, it retains them all.

You should have seen Alexander's face when he heard that Demosthenes was telling the people in Thebes and Athens that Alexander had died during the Illyrian campaign. No, he was not angry, rather, he was amused. He told us that the Macedonians must have become a real threat to the Athenians, as they had to kill the king to be able to face us. He knows how to lift the spirits of soldiers.

He did not waste any time, either. He could not allow those citizens to ally and break the agreement of the Corinthian League, which his father, King Philip had established. In fourteen days, we arrived at Thebes. It was a hard and pushed to the limit sort of ride, but nobody had complained. And in just three days, Alexander positioned us already ready to fight. While the Thebans protested by lining up small contingents of soldiers who were mostly slaves, foreigners and refugees in front of the palisade, they hid themselves behind the palisade and the gate of the city.

Alexander divided us into three groups. One group, which was mostly made up of archers and light infantry, attacked the palisade. The second group faced the Theban battle line, and he reserved the third group to support any weakened line. The Thebans fought well though, that I have to admit. At one point they were pushing us so hard, and I could see that the Macedonians were wearing out.

However, we gained our control rather swiftly when Alexander sent the reserved group into the battle. The Thebans could not hold this, and many of them were killed. It was then, Alexander noticed that nobody was guarding the postern gate, and ordered Perdiccas to break off and attack with his phalanx battalions. From there, we finally entered the city and razed it to the ground.

That is Alexander. He does not miss any opportunities, even the slightest one. His ability to assess the situation on a grand scale, yet pinpoint the exact moment of the strategic movement is almost inhuman. I have the utmost trust in Alexander when it comes to war tactics, and the feeling is mutual throughout the army at all levels.

Alexander demolished Thebes so completely and thoroughly; everything was brought down to the ground except temples and the house that once belonged to Pindar, yes, the poet Pindar. He told us that he would leave it intact, since he once wrote a poem about one of the Macedonian kings who was also named Alexander. But you know the real reason. Alexander sincerely admires and respects the arts.

People talked that the reason why Alexander treated the Thebans so ruthlessly was because he wanted to show his power to the rest of Greece, so that they would not fight against Alexander. That is mostly true, but I also think that the way the Thebans fought hiding behind those refugees made Alexander mad and disgusted. Just like at Chaeronea, when they abandoned those brave warriors of the Sacred Band and let them perish in the field completely.

That day, Alexander gained the respect of his father and of the army of Macedon as a commander, but at the same time, he, no we lost something. A part of our souls were ripped off from our hearts, and we left them on the field of Chaeronea with the fallen brave warriers. They were we in a way, Achilles and Patroclus. That day, we learned that glory does not come without sacrifice.

You told us, "_Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind_." That was what Alexander exactly did at the victory banquet of the battle of Chaeronea. He did not show any pain in front of others, he celebrated the victory wholeheartedly with his father and the army of Macedon. And Master Aristotle, you were right. He looked so beautiful.

It was not until we retired from the banquet and we were alone that he held me so tightly against him and wept. We wept for a long time for the lost warriors and more. Our requiem was not only for the lost lives of the Sacred Band, but also for our lost purity and innocence. On that summer day, we said a farewell to our boyhood, and we became men.

After the siege of Thebes, Alexander did not have any problems enforcing the obedience of the Greeks. They formed a Corinthian League for the third time. They reinstated the agreement, and even ratified Alexander's act against Thebes. The image of a child king who had simply inherited the rising kingdom from his father was quickly replaced with a tactful and very determined conqueror from Macedon.

I have to tell you this story about the encounter of Alexander and a philosopher, Diogenes of Sinope. Yes, that cynical philosopher who said, _"I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels." _

When we came close to Corinth, Alexander told us that he wanted to see Diogenes. He picked only seven of us to ride with him, since he did not want to intimidate the philosopher. We could spot him right away. He was sun bathing in front of the barrel. I have heard about him living in a barrel, but I did not believe it until I actually saw him with my eyes. I thought it was just a figure of speech, but he actually did live in a barrel.

My first impression of him was that he did not look like a philosopher at all. To me, a philosopher should look stoic and honorable. He wore a rug with a rope tied around his belly to keep it in place, and he had a beard that was wild and not groomed. In short, he looked more like a beggar in the city than a philosopher. But, when I saw his eyes, I understood the greatness of this old drifter. His eyes were as clear as the summer sky, and as sharp as an eagle's.

We all dismounted, and Alexander walked up to him. Diogenes did not even sit up when he saw Alexander. But I could tell that he recognized him by the way he looked at him. He could not hide an amusement to find the furious conqueror of Thebes being so young.

Alexander then asked him if he was afraid of him. His answer was, "Is there any reason why I should be afraid of you?" That made Alexander smile. He is so familiar with this philosophers' old tactics of answering a question with a question. Then Alexander asked him again if there was anything he could do for him. Diogenes paused for a moment, then answered, "Yes, please step out from the direct path of the sun."

Everybody laughed, but Alexander told us that if he were not Alexander, then he would like to be Diogenes. I think what Alexander saw in him was the total control of his world. And I believe that Alexander's mind to conquer the world was made up at that very moment of the encounter. Until then, his purpose was just to defeat the Persians. But, after seeing this man who was totally in control of his own world, and was so sure of what he wanted, Alexander must have realized what he really wanted to accomplish in his life. Conquering Asia was not enough for him; he wanted to have the whole world.

That night, when we were together all by ourselves, Alexander gave me the most precious gift a man could ever ask. I would never forget his words. He told me, "Hephaistion, as the sun is the most important thing for Diogenes, you are the most important thing for me. You are my sun. I would never allow anything come between us. As Diogenes did not hesitate to order the King to move to keep his sun, I would fight against even gods to keep you by my side. As long as you are with me, I know that I can accomplish anything. Promise me Hephaistion that you will never leave me."

I could not help a tear forming up in my eyes. Master Aristotle, can you imagine what it felt like being loved and trusted so much from Alexander, the sun and a god himself? I knew that I would go wherever Alexander leads us to without question, even if it is to the end of the world, but now I have strength inside of me. I can endure anything, and together, we will conquer the world. Our journey had just started.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dear Master Aristotle;

How is your life in Athens? I am certain that you are enjoying your new Lyceum. I feel so fortunate that I was given an opportunity to study under you. You have opened my inner eyes more than once, and I truly understood when Alexander said that he received life from his father, but you had taught him to live well, and I agree with him_. _

"_You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor."_ I will keep these words as a guiding light throughout the journey of my life. And I know that it would be the same for Alexander.

Meeting with Diogenes was one thing, but seeing an oracle in Delphi was another. Alexander wanted to hear the prophecy before leaving for the expedition in Asia, so we detoured to Delphi. Ptolemy told him that he would not be able to see Pythia, since it was not the season, but you know Alexander. He does not accept no for an answer.

Delphi is a beautiful and serene place. Especially the view of twin cliffs is gorgeous. They glow red when they catch the setting sun, and one might think that you are standing right at a place somewhere in mount Olympus. It is really a suitable place to be called the navel of the world. But something about the place is eerie. Maybe it is because the slain Python sleeps there. I don't know if it was only I who noticed, but I did not like the smell in the air at all. It was almost nauseating.

As Ptolemy warned Alexander, the priest politely refused Alexander's request to see the Pythia. Yet, Alexander went into the temple, and dragged out the Pythia. She shouted in disbelief, "Alexander, you are invincible!" I am not sure if that was actually the message from Apollo, or it was a direct reaction toward Alexander's outrageous act, but Alexander was just happy hearing it nevertheless.

He announced to the whole army what the oracle said, and told them that it means that nobody could stop him, and he would defeat the Persians to conquer the world. Ptolemy and I looked at each other and grinned, but the rest of the army was satisfied with Alexander's explanations, and most amazingly, the spirit of the army rose to its highest ever. I could see the eagerness on everybody's faces to fight and take on the Persians.

So, we finally crossed the Hellespont. Surprisingly, it was not very wide. As a matter of fact, we could see the other side through the faint fog that was cast over the channel. The other side did not look any different from this side though. I saw the same color of the soil, and the same kind of vegetations spread over the land. Yet, crossing it was significant, as Xerxes crossed it to the north to invade Greece, we crossed it to the south to invade Asia. Alexander did not waste the time to build bridges as Xerxes did, but he used Athenian naval ships instead.

Do you remember the time when you told us about the story of how Xerxes built the bridge to cross the Hellespont? We all laughed very hard hearing that Xerxes was so angry that he ordered his officers to whip the Aegean Sea when his first bridge failed in the storm. The image of his high ranking officers raising whips high in the air, and splashing the water aimlessly all around them sounded so silly and ridiculous. How can you punish nature? It sounded almost like a tantrum coming from a three-year-old child.

But I saw Alexander's smile fade quickly when you said, "Oh, but Xerxes was serious." At that moment, I think Alexander realized the danger in falling into the trap of the dark hole created by absolute power. It easily can corrupt the truth, and could make the most ridiculous act seem acceptable and serious. And that was not how Alexander wished to be. What makes Alexander so special is that he can see the genuine truth behind.

When we came close to the shore, Alexander threw a spear to the beach, which stuck and stood up in the sand. Then he jumped off the ship, and waded to the shore. I followed right behind him. When he reclaimed his spear, he raised it high in the air, and shouted. "The whole of Asia would be won by the spear!"

He was beautiful, so full of confidence and determination. In the bright spring sun, he shone like the God Ares himself. It was such a satisfying feeling to be a part of the army led by this young glorious leader. It also was one of those moments for us to proud to be a Macedonian.

I could not sleep that night. Not because I was too excited to be in the land of Asia, well it was that too a bit, but because of what Alexander told me. He asked me to do the ceremony with him to honor Achilles and Patroclus at their tombs in Troy. Do you know what it means, master Aristotle? He was going to let everybody in the army know what we are.

Our friends from Mieza already know or at least they suspect about our relationship, but it is a different story if the whole army were to know it. I was not afraid for myself. I couldn't care less what people think of me. But I was afraid for Alexander. Will the army accept a leader who openly expresses a rather unconventional and unacceptable love in public? They are not all Macedonians. To tell the truth, I was scared to death. What if some of the Greek soldiers expressed disgust? I did not wish our relationship to become an obstacle for Alexander to accomplish the dream.

The morning came too soon, and I could feel my stomach churning. We methodically spread oil over our naked bodies by helping with each other's back. I hated myself being so weak, because I could not help my hands trembling. Alexander noticed this immediately, and cupped my face, then spoke in a very calm voice, "While we do this, just look at me Hephaistion, nothing else, but only me." And he smiled at me as if that was all I needed to hear to be assured.

The sun was just rising behind him, and his golden mane shone like a halo around him. At that moment, my worry left my mind. I would do whatever my god wanted me to do. There were no more hesitations. We started our race at the open field with Alexander's yell. As he told me, I just watched my god run almost flying in front of me. And I forgot everything; there were just my god and I. We cut through the wind, and filled our lungs with the rich air pervaded with the sweet smell of the Aegean Sea.

We ran up on the slope to the half way point of the hill, and circled it around. The sights of the deep blue ocean and the bright blue sky dominated our vision, and my soul became empty as if the gods had purified it. It was such satisfying and ecstatic feeling. We finished our race in front of the tombs. Alexander laid a wreath on Achilles' tombs, and I on Patroclus'. And then the ceremony was over. Alexander took Achilles' shield and raised it high in the air. Everybody roared.

Hearing the cheers of the whole army, I understood that I had worried over nothing. Everybody saw what I saw in Alexander, a god and a hero. And now, they were celebrating the rebirth of the myth. They were looking at Alexander full of admiration and respect. They cherished their young king who gave them the hope and the purpose to live and fight.

A chill ran down my spine, when I noticed the same admiration was directed toward me as well from most of the soldiers mixed with profound jealousy from some of the officers. At that moment, I perfectly understood where I stood in Alexander's army. I was not a part of them any longer. I became a part of the god, Alexander, an absolute power. I knew then that my life in the army would not be an easy one. It would be lonely and more than likely be filled with bitterness and solitude, but I was more than willing to take it in exchange for the love of Alexander and our dream. Alexander and I, we would live the myth together.

Master Aristotle, do you believe in fate? If Alexander were Achilles, and I Patroclus, then will it be my fate to die before Alexander? I am not afraid to die, especially if it means to protect Alexander and to save his life, I would throw my life away for that a thousand times. What I worry about is Alexander without me. Nobody would understand him as I do, and he would no longer have a protector of his soul. When it happens, master Aristotle, would you be the guiding light to Alexander's soul?

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Some sources say that the argument between Alexander and Parmenion never happened at the battle of Granicus, but in this story, I used Ptolemy's version.

**Chapter 3**

Dear Master Aristotle;

I am excited. We are now standing on foreign soil, and I can feel the new beginning, the beginning of Alexander's myth. At the battle of Granicus, it became so obvious that Alexander has a totally different mind set from the ones of King Philip's old commanders when it comes to war tactics.

We were all anxious as we approached the Granicus River seeing the Persians in the distance on the other side of the bank who waited to confront us. The river was not that wide, but it looked deep, and the steep slope with heavy vegetation on the other side made it look almost impossible to move a large force over it, at least in an efficient manner.

I could tell that those veteran officers wanted to test the water first to be cautious. This was our initial engagement with the Persians after all, and everybody knew that the result of this battle would set the tone for the rest of the expedition. Alexander needed to win this battle to conquer Asia,

Parmenion was the one who spoke his mind; he suggested to Alexander that it was not wise to take an action in the Macedonian month called Daesius. Alexander argued back that they should call it the second Artemisius instead, by adding a leap month. Then Parmenion further advised him to wait at least till the morning, since it was too late in the day to attack. It was already mid morning, and I could understand Parmenion's concern. It is a known fact that the Persians linger around the camp and relax in the early morning, thus traditionally it was considered best to attack them at dawn.

Alexander simply sneered and told him that he should disgrace the Hellespont, should he fear the Granicus. When Alexander is determined, he has an answer for everything. With this, Parmenion could do nothing but comply. However, when Alexander glanced at me and grinned mischievously, I understood that he was not just being stubborn, but there was actually sensible reasoning behind the decision. Suddenly, I realized that the battle was nothing but a mind reading game for Alexander.

First of all, how do we know that the Persians are not fully prepared for our early morning attack, as their habit is no secret for us, our habit would not be a secret for them either? They know that Greeks tend to engage an attack at dawn. The early morning attack does not have any advantages if the enemy expects us to do so and is prepared for it.

Secondly, what effect would it have on our own army? Isn't it better for them to know that we faced against the enemy's full force? I do not think that it is in Alexander's plan at all, but if we were ever to lose, isn't it easier for them to reason the loss, and to accept it, so that Alexander could rebuild the confidence in less time? And if we win, doesn't it bring even higher confidence among them?

I do not know how he does it, but Alexander consciously calculates all those details in an instant, and then determines the best practice. This is all new to the old officers who are accustomed to the traditional way of fighting, and I see them struggling to adjust. Alexander does not play to the book.

You once told us in your lecture that "_Change in all things is sweet_", and at that time, our young minds had instantly agreed with it. But, I wonder if it is true for everybody. Do people always appreciate change? I am afraid that some of those old veterans will not be able to adjust to the changes that Alexander brings, and I cannot help worrying about the consequences that their differences might cause.

Would they eventually bring unmendable conflicts between them? As those veteran officers experience more differences and being pushed to change, would they see Alexander as more of a tyrant than a godly leader one day? I just hope that the old commanders would become used to the changes and adjust to Alexander's way, as I am certain that Alexander would never stop, and he would always bring in new ideas.

So the decision had been made to attack, and we lined up along the riverbank waiting for the command from Alexander. Everything was in such total stillness that it was almost eerie. The early afternoon sun was blazing upon us, and I could feel the sweats forming under my helmet.

Have you ever experienced a strange sensation in your stomach right before you go onto the stage to present your argument in front of a full audience? The tingling sensation you might get if somebody tickled the inside wall of your stomach? That was the exact commotion I was feeling while I waited. It took only a few moments, but it felt like we waited for an eternity. When the waiting became almost unbearable, and the anxiety had nearly taken over the good part of our mind, we heard Alexander's war cry to proceed. He always knows the perfect timing.

Alexander was the first one to cross the river with thirteen troops of horse behind him. The wet footage made the bank even more slippery and it added the extra challenge to climb up the steep bank, but we finally managed to leap up. After that, it turned into chaos of engaging muddled hand-to-hand combat.

I saw the Persians surrounded Alexander instantly. With two big white plumes on his helmet, he stood out in the turmoil of crowds. I wish he would quit doing it, but that is Alexander. He does not hide behind his soldiers as most leaders do. Instead, he makes sure that every single soldier in his army would see how their leader fights, consequently, letting the entire enemy spot him very easily as well.

I gasped in horror when I saw two Persian commanders attacking Alexander simultaneously. While Alexander was taking one, the other commander landed an ax blow on Alexander's helmet, and chopped off one of the crests. Worst of all, I saw him just about ready to swing another blow upon Alexander. I felt all my blood rush down to the tips of my fingers, and the sudden pulsing almost made me drop my sword. I knew that I needed to get to him, but there were simply too many bodies between Alexander and me. It was impossible for me to reach him in time. I had never felt so helpless and terrified in my life. All I could do was to stare at Alexander in horror.

It was then, I spotted Cleitus swing his sword to strike the shoulder of the attacking Persian to save Alexander's life. I let out my breath in relief, and thanked the gods. It was so close. It was so close that it made me shiver to realize how fragile our lives are. If it had not been for Cleitus, Alexander could have died right in front of my eyes. And I fully understood then how the warriors of the Sacred Band of Thebes must have felt at Chaeronea. It was dreadful, devastating, and so empty.

A corner of Cleitus' mouth curled up when our eyes met, as if he was telling me that I was not the only one who would see Alexander's vulnerability. I think Cleitus is one of the few of us who actually recognizes Alexander not as a god, but as a mortal. Others tend to forget, and I suspect even Alexander himself sometimes forgets that he is made of flesh and blood. In that sense, Cleitus is dangerous, as he would not afraid to challenge Alexander at the personal level.

The battle was victorious, and it had proven that Alexander's decision was effective. As I had suspected, the army's spirit rose incredibly, it was almost ecstatic. Although King Darius was not there, and Memnon and several satraps escaped, we had beaten the mighty Persian leaders. Everybody praised Alexander's victory.

There are many kings in the past whose brilliant tactics brought victory in battle. But Master Aristotle, what makes Alexander so special apart from other successful leaders is not only what he does to win the battle, but also, or rather what he does for the people after the battle. He takes care of them all; injured, fallen and even the enemies.

He does not simply see injured soldiers, but he talks to them. He listens to them telling him the story of how they fought, and how they received their injury. Can you imagine how a soldier might feel when the King himself pays such a personal attention? They know that he loves them, and for that they love him back, and follow him unconditionally.

He treats the dead with respect as well. Twenty-five Companion cavalry lost their lives during the battle, and he had them buried gloriously in the morning. Furthermore, his respect for the dead did not stop there. He made sure that the families of those fallen soldiers were well taken care of.

As to the enemy, his action of respect did not actually work favorable to them. He had the fallen Persian leaders buried as well, but we found out later that it was actually an insulting act to bury the dead according to the Persian customs. His innocent action might have humiliated the enemy, but it sure gained the approval of the Greeks.

Yet, we cannot forget Alexander's furious side. Generous and kind as he can be, he could also become a harsh and firm authority figure. He showed his stone cold side for those captives who were hired by the Persians, and fought as Greeks against Greeks, on behalf of barbarians. He gave no mercy to them, and sent them to Macedon for hard labor as slaves.

He did not forget the political act either. He dedicated three hundreds suits of Persian armor to the goddess Athena in Athens with an inscription that says, "Alexander son of Philip and the Greeks, except the Spartans, from the barbarians who live in Asia." Can you believe that Alexander managed to say so much in this one sentence?

It is almost inhuman how well Alexander can handle and balance both action and diplomacy. He is a new breed of leader, and I can feel the wheel of fortune starting to revolve around him. The world is changing. It has finally begun. We have now stepped into the first path of the modern myth.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Dear Master Aristotle;

"_Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so made for themselves different modes of life and forms of government."_ It is a fact that there are different forms of government with different values, but is this statement really precise? I am not trying to challenge you or anything, but I feel that there is more to it.

For example, the Persians have their unique life style, and consequently, the form of their government is very different from ours. However, can we say that it is truly based on their free choice, and they would choose the same form even if they were given other options? What I mean by 'they' here is not the high officials of the Persian courts who form the government, but the common people who live in it.

Aren't they being satisfied and happy simply because they have not been exposed to any other means? Or have they merely resigned themselves and are trying to make the best of it, because they do not have any other choices? Isn't freedom the ultimate means that all human seek?

I am questioning this, because I suspect that Alexander might have proven it when he liberated Ephesus. For most of the common people, I do not think it really matters who the ruler, and what the government is as long as they can live in peace, and the changes do not interrupt their daily lives too drastically.

However, isn't it also true that the flames of yearning for the freedom never die down deep in our heart, and are waiting for an opportunity to flare up? After finding Alexander had defeated the Persians at Granicos, the people of Ephesus stoned the pro-Persian Syrpax and his family to death, and warmly welcomed Alexander to their city instead.

The worshipper of yesterday turned into the enemy of today in just one night. It is almost chilling to see how quickly people's minds can change. I wonder if those who surrendered to Alexander would stay loyal to him no matter what happens, or if they would be loyal to him only while Alexander is the ruler of the world.

I believe it all depends on the reason why they follow Alexander. If they were following him because they feared him, then they might go against him, but if they were following him because they loved him, they would stay with him till the end. And so far, I see Alexander mostly gaining love from both his army and the people whom he had conquered. He has this charismatic effect on people that makes them want to be a part of his kingdom.

Although the campaign after Granicos was successful and Ionian cities surrendered to Alexander with little resistance, Alexander surprised us again with his bold decision to abandon his fleet after the siege of Miletus. Once again, those veteran officers protested against, but Alexander reasoned with them.

First of all, he stressed that he does not wish to put his navy in danger knowing that they would receive substantial damage due to the disadvantage in size. We had only 160 ships against 400 of the Persians. Secondly, he argued that it is possible to immobilize the Persian navy by capturing the port cities, as we did at the siege of Miletus.

However, I think the true reason behind it was that Alexander was not quite confident with battle at sea. The advantage of the Macedonian army lies in its speed, but our navy was not there yet. It is still unfamiliar territory for Alexander. Therefore, for the time being, he decided to cut off the weakness, and to concentrate on the strength.

It was an unconventional and risky decision, but as Nearchus had proven, Alexander was convinced that if we captured the ports, then we could paralyze the force of the navy. Without the harbors to return to, those naval fleets are nothing but birds with clipped wings. As if the gods had approved his plan, most of the port cities surrendered to Alexander without a fight.

One of the most interesting encounters among those surrenders was a lady, Ada of Caria, the former queen of Halicarnassus, and the owner of the fortress of Alinde. She must have surrendered to Alexander wishing that the Macedonians would defeat Memnon of Rhodes and Orontobates to gain control over the city of Halicarnassus. After all, I could imagine her bitterness against her government, since she had driven from her throne by her own relatives.

She was small and charming, yet at the same time, she was strong and determined. When I saw her offering peace to Alexander by looking straight into his eyes without the slightest flinch, I could sense an instant attraction to each other pass between Alexander and Ada. No, Master Aristotle, not that kind of attraction I am talking about. She is a little too old for Alexander for that.

But the attraction that is more fundamental and tender, like the love between a mother and a son. It is an undeniable fact that Alexander loves his mother, yet their love seems to have a hidden calculation behind it. Maybe it is the nature of the royal family, but I always felt sorry for Alexander for not being able to trust his parents totally.

I felt the same resentment from King Philip as well; he could not dismiss the idea that Alexander would be the biggest threat to his throne. Thus, their relationship often ended up as a competition rather than love. On the other hand, despite Queen Olympias loving Alexander to death, she cannot hide her ambition to become the person behind the throne; the person who is in total control of the kingdom.

That is the reason why she hates me. She hates me not because she believes that I am the one who is preventing Alexander from marrying, as most of the generals of Alexander's army believe, but because I am the threat to her power. I doubt if Queen Olympias ever can love Alexander's wife even if the marriage of Alexander and his heir is what she wishes. What a lonely and desolate life it is.

Although Ada of Caria is as intelligent and as ambitious as the Queen, she is everything that Queen Olympias is not; she is warm, sincere, and open. She also has a great sense of humor. It is so pleasant to be around her. It seems that Alexander finally found a cradle of his soul, and Ada found her son whom she can be truly proud of. They are perfect matches.

The Macedonians struggled, and Memnon and Orontobates escaped, but we were successful in capturing the city of Halicarnassus as Ada wished. The city was destroyed and burned down to the ground except for the Mausoleum. After the battle was over, and the army had settled and recouped, Ada took Alexander and me by the arms, and guided us into the beautiful building, which stood in the rubble like a phoenix that was reborn from its own ashes.

A pair of stone lions guarded the stairs, and gorgeous bas-reliefs of gods and goddesses decorated impressive tall marble walls. A pyramid shaped roof was placed over the numerous slender columns, and a chariot sat on the flat top of the roof with images of Mausolus and his wife Artemisia. Both Alexander and I were lost words at the magnificent sight. Looking up at the images of the two rulers of the city, Ada took both of our hands and squeezed them hard before telling us a story.

"_Mausolus and Artemisia were a brother and a sister. They had grown up together, and lived together all their lives. Although the marriage was the traditional arrangement, they truly loved each other. When her dearest husband died, heartbroken Artemisia decided to build the most exquisite tomb for her lover and brother. She too died not even two years after he left her behind."_

I fought very hard not to cry. I could not help thinking of Alexander and myself, like Mausolus and Artemisia, we had grown up together, and we have not loved anybody else but each other all our lives. It was so heart breaking to even imagine life without Alexander. If Alexander were ever die before me, I would build a tomb as beautiful as this to honor him and show the world how much I loved him, and wish to be as lucky as Artemisia so that I could soon follow him.

As if she saw what was going through my mind, she took Alexander's and my hands in between her soft palms. I looked down at our joined hands, and then looked up at Alexander. When I met with Alexander's moist eyes, I could not hold my tears back any longer, as I saw that Alexander was feeling the same grief and love. Ada's soft voice continued.

"_You two are just like Mausolus and Artemisia who were so deeply in love with each other. I suspect that you too cannot survive long without the other half. You are true love meant to be together."_

With our hands joined by the witness of Ada, and standing in front of the symbol of the eternal love, Alexander kissed me on the lips. Ada smiled at us and nodded. Her soft voice is still ringing in my ears.

"_You just pledged your love for each other. Congratulations my sons, you are now officially married in my witness."_

That was the biggest difference between Ada and Alexander's mother. Ada not only understood what love is, but she also highly valued it. Master Aristotle, being able to share the dream with your greatest lover is delight, but being blessed and accepted in our love by a mother is indescribable bliss, and Ada made it all possible.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Dear Master Aristotle;

After securing the Phoenician port cities, we left for Gordium to meet with Parmenion. The climate here is much warmer and dryer than in Macedon. Each time a gust blew over the royal road, the dusts swirled up in the air. As the dust settled down again, it made everything look dull as if they were covered with a thin opaque grey fabric. Even the leaves of some shrubs were not as green as they are supposed to be, but silvery grey green.

I wonder if living in a barren environment like this ever affects people's minds, I wonder if people's minds become numb and barren as well. Maybe it is because I am not used to the locals, thus I cannot see their true forms, but when we encountered with a few of them on the road, I saw nothing in their eyes. They were expressionless, and as empty and dry as the land around us.

Soon, we arrived at the River Sagarus, the shallow water was murky and grey and blended perfectly into the surroundings. The mounds of tumulus in the distance broke the otherwise monotonous flat landscapes. The local guide pointed out the greatest mound and told us that it was the tomb of King Midas. The name King Midas brought me a fond memory, and I could not help smiling when I met with Alexander's reminiscent gaze. He too must have remembered our little play in Pella when we were still young and innocent.

During a short break from school, Alexander and I used to sneak into the kitchen to steal some wine and bread while the servants were resting after serving breakfast. I remember that we giggled like girls running all the way deep into the palace garden to this secluded corner we found, while almost tripping over the huge bedspread we carried along. It was the back edge of the garden where sharp slopes of the hill defined the end. Hardly ever anybody came to visit there, since it was so far away from the palace. We had the place all to ourselves.

It was not as cultivated as the rest of the garden, but the natural beauty of it could claim to be one of the most beautiful parts of the garden. There was a tall exotic tree stood by a crystal clear stream. I overheard once a gardener mentioning that the tree was a gift from one of the Persian Nobles, and was brought here all the way from Canton, China. It may have an official name, but we called it foxglove tree, since the tubal flower looked just like the ones of those. Next time, when you visit Pella, please go and see it, so that you can tell me what its real name is.

In early summer, it produced an abundance of white flowers. Each time when the breezes gently shook the branches, it dropped flowers from the sky that looked like huge snowflakes, which in turn covered the ground with sweet smelling tubes. We gathered them and threaded them together to make wreathes to put on our heads and around our necks. The redolence of the flowers was not as strong as of honeysuckles, but equally as sweet.

We spread a bed-cover over the grass under the tree, set out the cups for wine and plates for bread, and pretended to have a luscious banquet of King Midas. After drinking a cup of wine and nibbling a piece of bread, we laid down. Then Alexander would get up, wander off to the garden, and come back. I was supposed to be asleep. He touched the top of my head, and it was the cue that I turned into gold.

He gently stroked my hair and cheeks, but I remained completely still, I even breathed so shallow to suppress the movements of my chest that Alexander had to put his ear against my heart to make sure that I was still alive. A strand of his fine hair fell onto my chest, and sensuously tickled my bare skin. I had to concentrate and try very hard not to move or moan.

Then he lifted me up, and carried me to the stream. I still can feel Alexander's heated body against my face and a side of my body, and his strong arms on my back and behind my knees. I heard him going into the water, and soon the tip of my toes hit the cool surface of the water. I held my breath in anticipation of being submerged into the water. I did not struggle even when my whole body went under the water, and good amount of air escaped from my lung in the form of a gasp caused by a sudden change in temperature.

I stayed still in Alexander's arms with full trust knowing I would be pulled up in no time, and Alexander had never betrayed my trust. He had never played a hoax on me. When I came to the surface, I was always greeted with the same beautiful sight; the golden hair shining like a halo against the blue sky, clear bright eyes filled with passion looking down at me, and a sweet satisfying smile given just for me. And then he bent over and kissed me lovingly. I could not help but feeling as if I were reborn. Alexander had taken my old life, and given me a new life as his companion, Patroclus.

Now you know why we both blushed and chuckled so uncontrollably and left you and the rest of the class in puzzlement, when you mentioned a story of King Midas. Talking about a story, do you remember the time we discussed about the myth of the Gordian knot? Did you notice Alexander's expression when you mentioned that nobody had ever solved the problem even after all those years? You have surely seen his eyes light up dangerously. As you have guessed, Alexander had to challenge the impossible problem.

"_Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities." _ That is how Alexander approached to the problem. He saw it as 'probable impossibilities', not as 'improbable possibilities'. However, nobody could see the 'probable impossibilities' in the Gordian knot. To tell the truth, even I had a doubt if Alexander could ever find the solution. Have you ever seen the knot? The complication of it is beyond the words that had ever been tempted to describe it. It is massive.

Naturally, all the officers were against it, for Alexander's almost seemed to be a reckless action. They were afraid that if Alexander failed, and the possibility of it looked much greater than success, we would lose the trust and the passion of the soldiers and it would be the end of our campaign, the loss against the Persians. But you know how Alexander is; nothing would change his mind once he had made it up.

So three days after we settled in town, we were there all gathering around the old ox cart to witness Alexander solve the impossible puzzle of the Gordian knot. It was a beautiful day in spring with a few white clouds nonchalantly floating in the blue sky. We the officers of the army stood closer to Alexander in front of the cart, and soldiers and locals spread into a couple of rows deep circles around us.

Thick rope connected a shaft to the yoke. It was tied around so many times in such an intricate manner that it was impossible to see the beginning or the ending of the knot. Alexander stood there unmoving with frown between his eyebrows, his eyes bearing down onto the knot as if to burn a hole into it. He circled around the cart while beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. Everybody was in dead silence.

I became so nervous and worried that it was very hard for me to keep watching him. My palms were sweating and my heart was pounding madly. What if Alexander could not solve the problem? It could end his dream here at the mouth of Asia, even before having a chance of confronting Darius. The longer it took, the more restless the crowds became as well, and I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment unable to watch Alexander suffer any longer.

When I opened my eyes again, I met with Alexander's dark orbs staring upon me as if he was seeing me somewhere else. I had never seen such a strange expression on his face. It was a mixture of lust, passion, pain, and determination. He turned his face back to the cart, and then an unbelievable thing happened. He drew his sword out, and swung it with full force from above his head to the knot. The knot was cut in pieces and the seal was broken. Everybody gasped, and froze to the spot.

At that moment, I knew exactly what I had to do. Time was crucial; the result could swing either way. I had to act very quickly. I hurried to take Alexander's wrist, and raised his hand high in the air and shouted, "The king of Asia was just born!", just like I claimed his throne when king Philip was assassinated. I let out my breath in relief when I heard the crowd roar and clap their hands after a short silence.

And then I noticed that even those once expressionless eyes of the locals were shining with a passion and admiration, and I understood that they had merely been dormant. All they needed was a fresh water to wash them away. And Alexander's bold and almost insane action just did the work. Master Aristotle, you once told us that "_no great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness_", and I believe that Alexander had just proven that.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Dear Master Aristotle,

Do you still remember how you used to worry about Alexander ending up hurting himself some day, because he often took an action before giving a thought? I am regretting to say that your fear became true. It was an extremely hot day. We were traveling through the mountains, to the further east where Darius waited for us. After climbing up a rocky path, the road wound down into a small forest in the valley.

The temperature was high, but the air was dry when we started our caravan, however, as soon as the thick vegetation enveloped us, and we slowed down, the air became stagnated and heavy lingering around us with high humidity. The white rays of the intense sun pierced through among the thick green leaves, which beamed curtains of intense lights through the snaking narrow path.

Tiny particles flickered in gold and silver in the rays as if they were eternally trapped within. Everything was still, and even the heat seemed to be confined in the woods. The lack of breezes made everybody feel hotter and sweaty. We marched in silence, as the heat was becoming almost unbearable, and it threatened to suffocate our lungs.

Alexander broke the silence with a big grin on his face asking us if we could guess what he craved for the most. His eyes were shining with mischief. How young and innocent he looked! It almost felt as if I were transported back into the age of Mieza. I do not know how he does it, but he still shows his innocence once in a while even after all these years. Maybe it is because he has never stopped dreaming.

Nearchus responded to Alexander without losing a beat commenting that he would love to have a naked woman's wet body against his. The remark created a stream of banter from other officers, which lightened up the heavy atmosphere tremendously. I admire Nearchus' carefree nature, and I sometimes wish I could act like him.

Alexander then looked at me, and said that he craved for the cool stream in Edessa. Everybody agreed in unison remembering the refreshing clear water we used to play in on the hot summer afternoons. I could not help blushing, because Alexander meant more than just splashing water from the way he was looking at me. I knew exactly where his mind was going, to our happy hiding place. We exchanged a nod and a smile that only the two of us could understand.

When the border of the woods came closer, we heard inviting sounds of water as if the gods had granted Alexander's wish. Both the beasts' and the humans' footsteps quickened involuntarily in excitement. As the tree lines ended, the body of rapidly flowing water appeared in front of us. Numbers of small waterfalls cascaded down the stream, which created strands of white strings and refreshing sounds of hollow echoes.

I could not believe my eyes. It actually looked exactly like the stream in Edessa. The image of Alexander and me playing in the crystal clear water flashed in my mind. Those carefree days I desperately longed for from time to time… The only difference was that the temperature of the water here was a lot colder. The rapid flow of the stream from the snow-capped mountains in high elevation did not give the time for the water to warm up. Despite the hot temperature in the atmosphere, the water stayed ice cold.

Before I could even say a word, I saw Alexander jump off Bucephalus and run to the water shouting for me to follow while stripping and yelling happily. "No! Alexander!" I screamed in panic, but it was too late. He had already jumped into the stream splashing the beads of water around him.

His happiness was quickly replaced with unwelcome surprise; I saw his body freeze in the middle of it. He started to shiver so violently that I could almost hear his teeth chatter. I jumped in right after him without thinking. The water was so cold that it felt as if thousands of tiny blades cut through the skin numbing the nerves in my whole body. It tightened my chest, and gripped my heart threatening to stop its beat.

It is strange how a person's mind works. At that moment, facing death, all I thought was that I did understand Alexander. His impulsive act was not the result of recklessness; rather it was the result of the passion and love to experience life at its full blast. As I did jump in after Alexander for my love, Alexander did it for his love of life.

When I almost got to Alexander, his body fell in the stream. I dove under and grabbed his wrist just in the nick of time before the rapid current washed him away. I struggled to pull him up. The power of the water kept him pulling under with greater force than I could pull him up. I held onto him for dear life, but it was only a matter of the time before I lost my battle.

When I thought that was it, a strong arm wrapped around my torso, and I was pulled up to the surface. The other hand released the weight of Alexander's body from my grip. I saw Nearchus and Ptolemy's worried faces before the darkness took over my world.

When my consciousness came back, and I opened my eyes, I was lying in front of a fire being wrapped with a heavy blanket. "Alexander!" I sprung to sit up, but had to lie back again as the world spun around me. "Easy Hephaistion, Alexander is right by you." Ptolemy gently patted my shoulder to calm me down. He does not say much, but he is one of the few who understands and supports my relationship with Alexander.

Alexander lay by me also wrapped in a heavy blanket; he was so pale and still that he looked almost dead. Ptolemy's expression did not ease my fear either. He mumbled that Alexander was alive, but he was suffering from a high fever. Pushing his mind and body to the limit finally caught up with him; his body could not take the induced shock.

Alexander's fever did not subside for the next five days, and he lived in the hazy world of where consciousness and unconsciousness meet. When he finally came around, he was so weak that he hardly could sit up on the bed; there was no strength left in his body.

None of the treatment had worked. I think all the doctors were afraid of administering the real treatment, wanting to stay on the safe side. A desperate measure was needed, but nobody wished to take a chance of being blamed to be responsible for the king's death when it did not work. It was frustrating, but we could not do anything.

I was so scared that Alexander might die. I do not know what I would do if he had gone. I cannot think of a world without him. Yet, I did not show my fear to anybody, even to Ptolemy, as I knew very well that once there was a doubt about Alexander's power, nothing would hold his army together. His army got more powerful by the day, but it was not strong and organized enough to survive without a leader. And I could not let his dream fall apart just yet.

We officers gathered all the physicians and told them to try anything even if it carried some risks. I told them that we could not let Alexander die due to illness. If we did, he would curse us from Hades. It was then, Dr. Philip of Cara stepped up, and told us that he could try this one medicine. He explained that it was so strong that the smallest miscalculation could cause death. I told him to go ahead and administer it; I knew that Alexander would have taken the risk.

When Dr. Philip informed us that he had completed the prescription and was ready to administer it to Alexander, a messenger from Parmenion arrived with a letter from him. After quietly reading it, Alexander handed it to me. My heart jumped, and started to beat madly. It said that Dr. Philip was connected with Darius, and he was looking for an opportunity to assassinate Alexander. _'Alexander, I beg you. Please keep him away from you as far as possible.' _That was how Parmenion's letter concluded.

When I looked up at Alexander's face, it was surprisingly calm. He whispered your quote out loud; _'The high-minded man must care more for the truth than for what people think.'_ And he told me that he trusted Philip, because the truth was that Philip was a man of dignity.

I brought the letter from Parmenion with me when I went to get Philip, and handed it to him without a word. As I watched him read, his face turned pale and his clenched hands around the paper trembled. I told him that Alexander still trusted him, and he was ready to take his remedy. The doctor silently nodded and picked up one of the three cups he laid on the table.

We came back to Alexander's tent, and Philip offered his medicine to Alexander. I saw Alexander raise the cup as if in salute, and slowly brought it to his lips. I tried to read the doctor's expression, so I could stop Alexander if I sensed any danger, but I could not read anything. He had concealed all the emotion behind his professional mask. Now, all I could do was to pray to the gods.

To our relief, the medicine did not kill Alexander, and he started to recover after Dr. Philip's ministration. Now, there is no way of knowing if the conspiracy against Alexander by Philip was real, and if one of the cups prepared on the table was meant to kill Alexander. The only thing that is certain is that Dr. Philip was a man of dignity as Alexander had judged. Recklessness might have put Alexander in danger, but at the same time, his boldness was the reason that might have saved him.

And I know that Dr. Philip would never betray Alexander in future, as he now knows that Alexander trusted him despite the accusation against him. Can you imagine how grateful you would feel when you know that you have unconditional trust from a mighty king like Alexander? I believe that Alexander has mastered the art of gaining people's love and loyalty by giving his own. '_He who confers a benefit on anyone loves him better that he is beloved.'_ But, at the same time, I am afraid that this incident might have further widened the gap between Alexander and Parmenion. Only time will tell.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion

Note: Italics are Aristotle's quotes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Dear Master Aristotle,

I said it before at the battle of Granicus, and I have a feeling that this is not the last time that I will say it either, but Alexander is a genius when it comes to war tactics. He knows what to do by instinct; it is in his blood. At Granicus, we knew that we had a chance, even if it was our first encounter with the Persians who had advice from a professional Greek commander. The Persians had more cavalry, but we had more infantry. At least in total numbers of the force, we were close.

However, the battle of Issus was totally different. First of all, we were facing Darius himself. Secondly, the Persians had over three times more force than us. And thirdly and the most devastatingly, Darius did out run Alexander. Alexander knew that there were two possible routes where Darius could take his army through; the Amanic Gate in the north, and the Syrian Gate further south.

Since we had such a disadvantage in force, it was critical for us to choose the correct positioning. Therefore, Alexander ordered Parmenion to watch the Persians' movements hoping that his old general would obtain accurate information. I do not know if Darius deliberately spread a false rumor, or it was solely based on Parmenion's observation, but the information from Parmenion that Darius was coming through the Beilan Pass to the Syrian Gate turned out to be incorrect. Darius was actually in the north, behind of us.

To make matters worse, we also learned from the survivors who brought the news on Darius' actual position, that Darius had killed and mutilated all the sick and wounded that we left in Issus. How cruel of Darius to kill those who could not fight or even defend themselves. It is unnecessary and a cowardly action. But, is this what war does to us; make us lose all the senses and turn us into a ruthless evil?

You once told us that, _"We make war that we may live in peace."_, and you also said that, _" We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions_._"_ If it is so, then do we become evil by performing evil actions? And is war responsible for that? Then how can we live in peace? How can Alexander ever live in peace?

I watched Alexander in alarm when the news arrived, and I had never seen his face distorted in such agony. Everything seemed to be working against him, even the weather. He stood there in silence unmoved in the torrential rain. I saw all kinds of distressed emotion cross his paled face; vexation of being out smarted by Darius, disappointment in Parmenion whom he trusted and depended on, and the rage and frustration for everything that was interfering with the path of his dream.

Yet, he simply turned us around, and headed back to the North toward Issus. While we marched, the closer we got to Issus, I saw Alexander's confidence and determination returning stronger. By the time we faced Darius at the bank of the Pinarus River, he was his old self again. The massive force of Darius army did not recoil him a bit.

To be more precise, it was not Alexander who was shaken, but was Darius' army who was scrambling. I think Darius was sure and hoped that Alexander would flee when he found that he was outmaneuvered. He did not expect the Macedonian king to have the nerve to turn around to face him. The disturbance in the Persian camp was obvious. They were not in battle formation, but the whole front was covered with carts, baggage, and pack animals, as if they were getting ready to retreat.

Alexander did not miss this distraction. While the generals of Darius' army were busy rushing to deploy, Alexander rode from unit to unit to make a speech before the battle. He did not just speak to the general audiences, but he recognized a soldier by name and his or his family's achievement. That is Alexander. He does not treat his army as a body of humans; instead he sees them as individuals.

After talking about how Xenophon and the Ten Thousands finally reached the Black Sea with much difficulty, he mentioned about the massacre of our comrades in Issus. By the time he finished the speech, the whole army was banging swords against shields more than ready to fight. '_Men regard it as their right to return evil for evil - and if they cannot, feel they have lost their liberty.' _That was the exact principle that Alexander had applied. We felt that we had to do something to avenge them.

When we finally engaged with the Persians, the weather had cleared and the autumn sun was already slanted to the west. I do not remember the details of the battle, all I remember is that I fought for my life and watched Alexander with amusement. I could see him calculating, adjusting, and recalculating the situation. By the time the sun was almost set, he managed to go behind Darius' main force.

The Persian kinsmen were brave; they threw themselves in the path of us. We fought through them, and soon their bodies piled up in front of Darius. We were very close. Alexander saw the opportunity and threw a javelin at the Persian king; it was then I saw a sword wound on Alexander's thigh. He did not care for it though. I doubt if he had ever noticed it. His focus was solely fixed on Darius then. The spearhead missed the Persian king by a hair, but it was enough to startle Darius and make him flee. I was almost shocked. I had never imagined the great king would flee away like a coward, if it were Alexander, he would have fought until his last breath.

Alexander did not pursue Darius, instead, he turned his force to the left flank where Parmenion was losing, and charged against the Greek mercenaries. As night fell, we continued slaughtering the fugitives; there was no stopping to it. As once the wheel of violence had turned, it was almost impossible to stop it, we only ceased when the darkness made it too difficult, and it was not physically possible anymore. I faced with my own demon on that day.

Darius left everything behind, his chariot, his mantle, shield, bow and bowcase, and his royal tent. I still see Alexander's thunderstruck expression when we entered the tent. It was beyond luxurious; the silk carpet, exquisite furniture, golden and silver artifacts, and the aroma that filled the tent was so heavenly that it made us forget that we were in the battlefield. When Alexander looked back at me, I saw uncertainty in his eyes. Now he realized for the first time that he was facing with the unknown enemy who had abundant wealth, and whose culture was so foreign. He almost looked lost.

I ordered the bath for Alexander in Darius' golden bathtub. Cleaning his wound was one thing, but I worried more about his state of mind. I did not wish him to shrink against the Persians' wealth, so I was glad to see Alexander truly enjoying his bath. No matter how rich the container is, it does not mean anything if there is nothing meaningful to fill it with. The true luxury and the power lie in the simplest form. Maybe that was why we could defeat the Persians, we fought for the reason, and they fought for the money; our action had a meaning, and theirs did not.

When we were getting ready for supper after Alexander finished his bath, we heard several women's wailing voices. The guards told us that they were Darius' family who thought that the King was dead. It surprised me that Darius brought his family to the battlefield, let alone leaving his own mother, wife and daughters behind when he fled. Then it hit me. He must have not taken this battle seriously. For him, it was like a game, he was so sure of winning that he brought spectators to entertain. It was another mistake of Darius; man should not take battle lightly.

I woke up early next morning smelling the death in the air. Surely this was not my first battle, and I thought I was ready to take anything, yet I gasped at the horrible sight that Hades might have looked like. I had never seen so many corpses, they piled up one over another covering every empty space of the field with their flesh and blood spilled out from the torn fabrics and armors. They did not look like humans anymore, they were merely lifeless objects. I shivered when I understood that this was the other side of glory, and it was just the beginning.

In the late morning, Alexander went to visit Darius' family with a few of his officers. As soon as we entered the tent, they froze. I could visibly see their fear. The eldest lady stepped out and threw herself at my feet. I did not know what was going on at first, but when she called me King Alexander as she looked up at me, it became all clear. She mistook me for Alexander. My face burned with embarrassment. No, I was not embarrassed for myself, it was actually an honor for me, but I was embarrassed for Alexander. Can you imagine how humiliating it could be when the enemy's mother mistakes the opponent's king for somebody of a lower rank?

Total silence fell upon the tent, and the air became intense. It became more intense when the old lady was made to know of her mistake. I could see her trembling small figure shrunk even smaller. At that moment, Alexander made a surprising move. He knelt before Darius' mother and gently pulled her up by taking her hand, and spoke unbelievable words. He told her not to worry, because I too was Alexander.

I was so stunned that I felt as if my heart stopped beating. Could he be joking? But, when I met with his eyes looking at me filled with pride and love, I had to close my eyes for a moment. A tear was threatening to escape; I was overwhelmed. But when I opened my eyes again, I was met with a couple of pairs of cold dark eyes. _"__Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbor to have them through envy."_

Until now, I had never understood the difference between jealousy and envy. I thought envy belonged only to the lower class as you said that it belongs to the base. But now I understand. You meant that it belongs to the very base of human mind, did you not? It is so deeply hidden and is well camouflaged that we do not recognize it when it peeks its head out. We think that it is harmless jealousy, and is not vicious envy. And it hides in every human's mind no matter what social status he is in. I know that I provoked envy within, but I am content. As Alexander would carry the burden of thousands and thousands of corpses in exchange for his glory, I would carry the burden of envy in exchange for the love of Alexander.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion

**A/N: The italics are the quotes of Aristotle. And special thanks to Gif who brought my mind back to this series.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**  
**Prompt: Trust**

Dear Master Aristotle,

How is your Lyceum? Do you have any interesting students in class like last year? I heard that you are currently working very hard on your book. Could you please send me what you have written so far? I would love to read them. One thing that I miss the most during the campaign is good material to read, as it is rather difficult to find it in the battlefields.

Talking about the battle, after Alexander defeated Darius at Issus, the cities of Phoenicia surrendered to Alexander one by one without putting up a fight. We Macedonians were gaining power over Asia faster than the tide comes in. I was stunned when I learned those city-states submitted to us, and paid tribute rather than fighting. Speaking of which, I do not understand or agree.

_The wise man does not expose himself needlessly to danger, since there are few things for which he cares sufficiently; but he is willing, in great crises, to give even his life - knowing that under certain conditions it is not worthwhile to live. _

That is exactly how I feel. I understand that it is not wise to fight a needless battle, but should we not fight to protect what we believe in or for the person whom we believe in?

Although the king of Sidon, Strato surrendered, Alexander did not trust him. He knew that it was not the king's will, but the people of Sidon who forced him to submit. I thought Alexander would choose the king from the members of the council of elders, but I was wrong. He gathered his officers in his tent, and announced that I would be responsible for selecting the new king of Sidon.

You would not believe how shocked I was. I was more surprised than any of the other officers who obviously were not happy with Alexander's decision to give me such an important task. However, when I saw Alexander's twinkling eyes shining with mischief, I understood his intention. He was giving me the opportunity to prove that I was completely capable of living up to the reputation that he has given me; I too was Alexander.

While Alexander continued the march to Tyre, I stayed behind in Sidon with only two bodyguards. First of all, I did not see any threats against Macedonians in this old port city, and secondly, I did not wish to draw too much attention. Besides, as my accommodation was arranged through the council of elders, they were to supply Sidonian bodyguards for me. I did not wish to overwhelm nor insult them by bringing many Macedonians myself.

When we arrived at Sidon, the council of elders introduced me to two young brothers whose house became my accommodation during my stay. The elder brother's name was Ahumm, and the younger one was Bennoam. They both seemed to be well educated, and spoke perfect Hellenic, which meant that they would act as my translators, as well. They had a beautiful house on the hill overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. I could not have asked for any better arrangement than this.

Although they were true biological brothers, they seemed to be the opposite. While Ahumm had a stoutly built body like a warrior with gentle dark eyes, Bennoam was more slender and slightly taller than his elder brother, whose sharp eyes were lighter brown that shone almost in golden in the sun light.

Their differences were not only physical but also in their characters. Ahumm sounded simple and straight forward, while his younger brother was diplomatic and polite. When they told me about the meanings of their names, I thought their parents did a great job for giving them such suitable names. Ahumm meant 'brother of the sea' and Bennoam meant 'son of charm'. They complemented each other, and together, they held such power.

By the time dinner was over, and we sank into a comfortable couch for more wine and relaxed conversation, my mind was already made up. Either one of them was the perfect candidate for the new king of Sidon. They were intelligent, diplomatic, and they hated the Persians. Most importantly, whichever one I chose, the other would support him. I could not believe my luck in finding the king so soon and easily.

However, I was made to realize that the task would not be so simple. After making a conversation about mesmerizingly beautiful glass cups and a jug that was one of the famous commodities of Sidon, I offered the throne to the brothers. As soon as I brought it up, they told me that they were grateful and honored, but they were not qualified. It was Sidon's tradition that the king had to be chosen from the royal blood, which unfortunately they were not. The search resumed the next day.

I had interviewed more than ten candidates, but none of them were fit to be the king. They were either too ambitious or too cowardly; both the characteristics of possible traitors. The time passed fruitlessly, and Alexander's patience was running out. You know how restless he grows when he cannot get the result right away. I was eager as well. As this was one mission I could not fail. I had to prove to whomever had a doubt that I too was Alexander, for me and for Alexander.

When I was having a dinner with the brothers after another unsuccessful day, a servant brought apples, and announced that a farmer had brought them for the guest. I was surprised to see this rare treat in the middle of the winter. It made me very curious about this farmer, and questioned the brothers about him. Their faces lit up right away.

Ahumm hit his knees and exclaimed that he had totally forgotten about this farmer named Abdalonymos who was the distant descendant of the Sidonian Royals. I was excited seeing the possibilities. If he bothered enough to bring a gift to a Macedonian, it meant that he was in favor of us, did it not? And being a farmer he should have already known how to be ruled by nature. Did you not used to say, _"__he who is to be a good __ruler__ must have first been ruled_"? That was the first night that I did sleep through without waking up in the middle of the night since I had stayed at the brothers' house.

Next morning, I hardly took time for breakfast, and hurried the brothers impatiently to go see this farmer. His house was at the foot of the hill not so far away from the beach. It was hard to believe to see the royal descendent being reduced to the status of a mere farmer, but it was the face of the fate. I observed him for a while from a distance before approaching.

Although he was beaten by the cruel life, his mind was not base. I could still see the decency in him.

_The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper. _

He was tall and muscular, but was neither a warrior nor a soldier. His tanned face looked older than his age with deep creases, due to constant exposures to the sun and to hardship. His big hands were rough with rugged knuckles. When I met with Ahumm and Bennoam's worried eyes, I knew exactly what they were thinking. No, the man did not look like a king at all.

However, his appearance was the least of my worries at that moment, as you can easily cover it up with luxurious outfits and ornaments to create an illusion. The most important thing was how I could make sure that he would stay loyal to Alexander.

When we finally approached the farmer, he was pruning a tree, which seemed to be a strange looking apple tree. From looking at the size of the trunk, it was at least ten years old, although its height was only half of a normal tree. I made a mental note not to forget to mention it to Alexander, as you know that Alexander is always interested in new species.

The man looked surprised when he saw us, or even scared. As he realized that we had no intention of harming him, he relaxed and invited us into his house. Not like the lavish house of the brothers, Abdalonymos' house was small and poor. There was not a single piece of luxurious furniture, but all was simple and functional. He did not seem to have a family either. He must have been too poor to get married.

When I thanked him for the apples, his gaze met with mine for the first time. I knew that expression that appeared on the man's face far too well. It was a mixture of shock, admiration, longing, and desire. After talking with him for a short period, I was confident that I had found the right person. He was simple and honest just like the house he lived in.

I did not need a strong ruler right away, but an honest man who was obedient, as I had a plan of appointing Ahumm and Bennoam as the king's advisers. And I already had their agreement. Actually, the two brothers were to run the kingdom until Abdalonymos had leaned to be a king, and built his confidence. I was certain that he had the quality. If he could train the apple trees like that he sure could train his people as he wished.

_It is simplicity that makes the uneducated more effective than the educated when addressing popular audiences._

I also thought his simplicity would be a great asset to rule the changing society.

Although he hesitated at first, he gratefully accepted my proposal after I told him that he was to simply follow his two advisers' decisions until he became comfortable with making his own decisions as the king. I told him that I would send the two brothers again on the next day with the royal robe and a crown for him to wear to meet Alexander.

When I hugged him to congratulate him, I whispered into his ear if Alexander asked how he bore his poverty, answer him that he might as well bear his prosperity, his hands had ministered to all his necessities, and as he possessed nothing, he wanted nothing. I also advised him not to wear the crown until Alexander recognized him as a king. Alexander would appreciate such a gesture.

On the next day, Abdalonymos met with eager Alexander. As I had suspected, the former farmer looked important enough in royal robes with the two brothers close behind. Alexander asked him what I thought he would. Abdalonymos looked at me astonished for a moment, but when I nodded, he answered to Alexander with the words that I taught him. I knew then, Alexander had approved him. I watched Abdalonymos passionately talk about his dwarf apple trees in delight when Alexander changed the subject. Now, Sidon had a new king.

Alexander stayed in Sidon for five days, and conducted a lion hunt on the last couple of days as a part of celebration. Abdalonymos did very well for his first hunt, and I was very much proud of him. After the hunt, I suggested Alexander visit the hot springs near the hunting camp. There were two small beautiful pools that the locals called the springs of Eros and Anteros.

I noticed that Abdalonymos was secretly following us, so I decided to take this opportunity to make sure that he would not betray Alexander. It was a mild day for winter, and the sun was just about to set at the ridge. As soon as we arrived at the pools, Alexander stripped his clothes and jumped into the hot spring, while I took time to peel off the coverings of my body one by one.

Alexander yelled at me to hurry, but I slowly walked to the pool next to him, and gradually submerged myself under the warm water. As I emerged to the surface again, I flipped my hair in the air so that Abdalonymos would see my throat. After finishing the bathe, I also took a moment longer to stand still in the middle of the pool before getting out of the spring, feeling the new king's burning gaze on my body.

_Wicked men obey out of fear; good men, out of love._ I was sure at that moment that I had trapped him in my love. I knew that he would never betray me, or Alexander in turn. Would you say that I am cruel for playing with his heart? Probably I am, but you should already know that I would do anything to keep Alexander safe.

Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion

After rereading this letter, I am not sure if I would send this to you. This could be another letter that stays at the bottom of my chest like a few other letters I have written to you, but never sent.

**A/N: Italics are Aristotle's quotes.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
Prompt: Stranger**

Dear Master Aristotle,

After the long battle of Tyre, and the emotional siege of Gaza, we arrived in Pelusium; the last city that stood between Alexander and Egypt, and where a Persian satrap Mazaces ruled. It was such a heavily fortified coastal town that it seemed it would take a long battle to conquer if they had decided to put up a fight.

Parmenion suggested that we should paint the goddess Bastet on our shields just like the great king Cambyses did when he fought against Psametik three hundred years ago. But as you have guessed, Alexander did not agree with this. He values strategy and war tactics, but he does not wish to steal a victory. It is not Alexander's way of winning.

Fortunately, Mazaces decided to submit to Alexander without a fight. He even offered eight hundred talents as a token of his support. Alexander left Cleomenes in charge along with Mazaces, and we headed out to Memphis, the capital city of Egypt. As Alexander turned south with the main army, we with the fleet went further west to sail up the Nile River.

The river was wide with the gentle current, and the autumn breeze cooled us down, but was not too harsh. The smiles of the people of Egypt told us that we were welcome here. It was a nice change and relaxing after the constant hard battles. One side of the bank was fertile land with lush green, and the other side was endless camel dunes far and wide beyond the bank. I felt as if we had slipped into another world.

When I saw the great Pyramids and obelisks off in the distance, the reality sank in that I had finally come to Egypt. The land where you said that_ it changes in its turn and in time becomes thriving_ and that you have called as _the cradle of mathematics._ You are indeed correct; those Pyramids and obelisks are the sum of the principle of mathematics.

Since we had a couple of days of waiting until Alexander joined us, I decided to take this opportunity to visit the Pyramid. I did not take anybody but a local guide and several Egyptian guards. I asked Nearchus if he would like to come with me, but he looked at me as if I had grown a second head and told me that he would rather like to spend a day in the luxurious city than in the desert sands.

I did not blame him, but I did not regret my decision either. We talked about those magnificent pyramids in Mieza, and how I miss those days, but seeing it right in front of my eyes was something else. First of all, they were massive. It is a wonder how they transported those heavy stones and stuck them on top of each other to such a height. And secondly, they were precise both in measurement and its orientations.

Looking at this wondrous structure, all of a sudden, I felt that I truly understood what you meant by the 'golden mean'. It is where two extremes sublime to meet together, just like all lines of the Pyramid meet at the top, isn't it? Therefore, the 'golden mean' is not simply to meet at the half way at the same level, but rather more at the higher level.

Master Aristotle, I really would love to visit the Pyramid again sometime with you after our expedition is over. Wouldn't it be nice to discuss about the ancient wonders all night under the shining stars, and watching the rising sun gradually light up this magnificent wisdom from the past? We might discover some of the secrets of Egypt's wisdom together.

When Alexander arrived in Memphis, Egyptians welcomed him just like they did to us. They called him as _"Horus, the strong ruler, he who seizes the lands of the foreigners, beloved of Amun and the chosen one of Ra - meryamun setepenra Aleksandros". _Alexander's face lit up with joy and pride, and for the next two months we stayed there, he looked happier than ever.

Next year in late January, we went further west along the coast. Alexander was very fond of this ancient land, and he had decided to build his city. He looked for the mystic city of Homer. And when we came to a coastal town that seemed to be a small fishing village called Ra-Kedet, we knew that we had found the perfect place.

_Now there is an island in the surging sea in front of Egypt, and men call it Pharos, distant as far as a hollow ship runs in a whole day when the shrill wind blows fair behind her. Therein is a harbor with good anchorage, whence men launch the shapely ships into the sea, when they have drawn supplies of black water. *1_

The place was exactly as Homer explained. The narrow long peninsulas cradled and protected the calm bay. The water was as clear and as blue as the Aegean Sea. It was indeed the suitable city to have Alexander's name, beautiful and powerful.

What we did not expect from this small town was that they had a library, and it was not just a small one, but carried one of the most extensive collections of papyrus scrolls. Alexander was as impressed as the rest of us, but it tickled his competitive side as well. He claimed that he would build the largest and most significant library here by incorporating the existing one.

From there, Alexander left the main army with Parmenion, and took only companions and friends along with local guides to visit Siwa. You would not believe what happened on the way. First, a sudden rainstorm, which is very rare in the desert, saved us when we were completely out of water only three days into the dunes.

And then, we were hit by a fierce sand storm; just like the one that swallowed fifty thousand soldiers of Cambyses might have been. The wind was so strong that it changed the landscapes completely and had erased all the landmarks, making the local guides get lost.

And this time, two ravens that appeared from the middle of nowhere saved us. Alexander told us to follow them since they were messengers from the gods. He also told us that the reason why we did not die in the desert like the army of Cambyses was because we did not insult the Egyptian gods as Parmenion suggested.

Everybody laughed taking it as a light joke, except Philotas. His bitter expression hit me in the eyes. Master Aristotle, I am worried to see the gap of the difference in opinions between Alexander and Parmenion and his son that seems to be deepening by the day.

It was such a magical moment when we finally arrived at Siwa. Lush green and sparkling water appeared in the middle of the endless dunes. It floated like an island in the ocean of sand. The people of this secluded sanctuary were equally amazed, as we were to see foreign soldiers appear from the sand. It was more so when they found that it was their new pharaoh who made a visit.

Since Alexander did not want to waste any time, we quickly washed ourselves at the pool of the oasis, and went up to the temple of Amun to see the Oracle. The priest came out running, and greeted Alexander calling him as 'son of god', which pleased him a lot. He was then invited to the inner chamber to meet with the Oracle.

When he finally came out, I knew exactly what prophecy he had received, although all he said was that he had been given the answer his heart desired. I had not felt this distant from Alexander before. Even at the massacre of Tyre that seemed overkill and unnecessary, I understood that Alexander needed it as a process of catharsis after the long and hard battle he fought. I also accepted when he tied a rope at Batis' ankles and dragged him by a chariot around the city of Gaza, knowing that he needed to prove to himself that he was the reborn Achilles.

But, this was different. Alexander was now a god; at least that was what he believed. And if the only difference between a god and a human was to make impossible possible, then Alexander had already done that. Seeing Alexander's almost ecstatic expression, my heart was beating painfully fast with the fear of losing him.

"_Friendship still lasts in spite of continual losses; but where there is a great gulf, as between God and man, friendship becomes impossible."_

I wondered if this was the end of our friendship. However, when he looked at me with a nod, as he always had done whenever he wanted an assurance from me, I let out a sigh of relief.

I might have to challenge against this quote of yours. As he had been Alexander before being a prince or king for me, he still is just Alexander before being a god. Besides, isn't it true that even a god needs somebody who loves and understands him?

Greetings from the most ancient world,  
Your Humble Student,

Hephaistion

***1: Odyssey IV.354-355**


End file.
